My wants/needs have changed over the years owing to age and maturity, exposure and my spiritual growth. At some point, it was tall, dark and handsome, at another it was whatever my friend thought she wanted in a man. But then I realised that Seriously, this, right here, is my life. Whatever my friend wants or thinks doesn't cut it mehn. No be joke matter.
I'll list 5 in order of importance. Just 5.
1. God! He has to be wholly immersed in a pursuit of a deep(er) relationship with God. In fact, his walk with God should have gone really far. No baby christians please. I've come to realise that if one is not standing for God, he would fall for anything. The spirit of God in a person's life makes the difference between an ordinary man/life and a great man/life. Having a relationship with God will inhibit you from cheating, lying and other vices that could be picked up along the way. Also, since the spirit of God gives direction, he'll know where he's coming from, where he's going, and what to do when he gets there.
2. Goal. He has to know what he wants to do and not be a passive wanderer. Nothing amuses me more in relating with the opposite sex that listening to well ordered stream of thoughts on the next line of action. It really thrills me to listen to someone who has control of his life. The sweet talker is exempted from this list though. He is the one that would go on and on about plans without so much as the gusto or drive to take the first step.
2. No, the numbering is not a mistake. I'm not sure I should give intelligence a whole number of its own because I feel it's somewhat embedded in the point above. I mean, really, if u are not intelligent, how can u sit down and even start to plan anything beyond what's for dinner?!
The other part of intelligence which may not be included in the first part is general knowledge. I'm not saying be a living wikipedia though because that would just be downright freaky. Abeg when you're smart, you're smart. Being so is a real conversation driver. I could be a chatterbox when the person I'm talking with is. Since I do not gossip, intellectual convos make a big part of whatever talks we can ever have. I like to feel like I know so much but I'm cowered and challenged to know more when I see or associate with someone who is well grounded.
2. Please speak good English, abeg.
3. Must be a sweet, unpretentious lover. Sensitive, gentle and soft-spoken[I can't be with a shouter], a really cool voice will be a bonus although it's not a priority; there are more important things to want. Really. Emotional intelligence is almost as important as being intellectually sound. Strong willed but still situationally malleable.
4. Good looks. Why does an item that tops the list for some other people come as the fourth for me? One answer: It's because good looks without 1, 2 and 3 does not make any sense at all. I'm really not saying that I'll do an ugly person. Heck even the definition of ugly sef is relative. Fairly good looks would suffice at least. Don't worry, my beauty will rub off on our seeds.(:-p) That I can look at you and smile contentedly is enough for me. And Yes, there has to be the physical attraction. Abeg, body no be firewood.
5. A good dress sense. Please do not show up on a date with Bahamas shorts and striped shirt. Which kind life na? The ability to put two or more items together to make a good outfit would do. I'm not saying dress like Oscar de la renta. No need. That one is overdo and I could tag it as vanity.
However, if number 5 is the only thing that spoils the list, fack it. The only constant thing in life is change. You go learn na.
So, that's it. I think it looks better in writing than having blurred boundaries in my head.
And that's my top 5. My own adaptation of the popular scripture would be "seek ye first the 5 things above and every over thing shall be added unto you"
it's a wrap.
I'm out.
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